Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 month ago

Why am I not in love with my husband anymore?

I love my husband very much, but I'm not in love anymore. I've been mistreated too many times and I do not want to go into detail. There wasn't any physical abuse but it was emotional abuse. We've only been married for 3 years and I'm over the edge with him. Hes not that kind man I married. He often looks at other girls and tells me that I should look more like them. He takes ugly pictures of me and saves it on his phone. He has an album filled with pictures of me in a hot mess cooking or cleaning and he pulls out his phone and laughs at me. I tell him to delete the album ge made of me but he doesn't do it and tells me that I look huge in every photo. I was the same weight before marriage so I dont understand why he married me if he didn't like it. I'm not in love with him anymore at all. I often mistreat him and leave him alone. I enjoy my own peace and solitude and when hes around, I get very annoyed. When he calls me over to cuddle, I dread it. I dont even want to be intimate with him anymore. I still love this man but I dont understand what has gotten into me these past few months. I've been feeling like this for the last 9 months now, its gonna be the 10th month next month. It just gets worse and worse as time goes by. I feel bad for doing this to him because I really care about him. I want to see him happy with someone else that isnt me. What has gotten into me? I tried to talk to him but he doesnt listen so I got used to it and started ignoring it. 

Update:

I got married at a young age. Hes 6 years older. I'm 26 now and hes 32.

39 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    Ignore the negativity hun...

      I’ll pray for you.

    Try to get counseling,     

  • 4 weeks ago

    Blah blah I dont buy emotional abuse I am sure that you have done your share of emotional abuse to him.

  • car253
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Your problem is "you got married too young".    Big mistake.   Now your grown and see things you never saw before.      You can either ignore his photos and live with it or leave NOW before you have any kids.    I hope you don't have kids yet.   Leave now.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    If you don’t have kids why not just split up? When you have children everything becomes that much more difficult because you might ruin their lives if you split up. And I’m speaking from personal experience here as a divorced father.

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Your husband is killing your love for him with his emotional abuse. That's why you're not in love with him anymore.

    If your marriage is steadily getting worse and he refuses to talk about it, then why stay? You're both still young.I was in an emotionally abusive relationship when I was younger, and by the end of it, all my emotions for him had died. There was just nothing left to give. In hindsight, I should have left him much earlier, because that's not how relationships should be. A marriage is about being best friends and lovers, being a team, being there to support each other and make each other better, stronger people. It should not be a war.

  • 1 month ago

    He has no f*cking respect at all for you and you need to divorce him DEFINITELY! He's a womanizer and you deserve someone 100 times better than him!😯

  • 1 month ago

    Sounds like you answered your own question when you mentioned emotional abuse

  • 1 month ago

    Do not give up before you both see a Good marriage counselor. No need to guess what is happening to him. ( This is my best advice )

    Since you have a child that is 6 years old, you must have gotten marry when you were 18 or 19 years old. Women mature sooner and they are able to face responsibilities at a younger. Age. ( In my mothers days women were married at the age of 14 ). This allows women to face "reality " sooner when she gets married. Also this allows you to realize that your life changes when you get married. Especially after having one child.

    Men do not have that ability,. He might feel loaded down with just the idea of being married. That he can not have female friends, that when he got married all the young women he knew erased his name from their " Little black book ", he may have single   friends his age that " live  the good life " and they are able to do whatever they want without having much ( or any ) responsibility. ( If he still associates with his single friends, that is a bad sign ). So, he unconsciously blames you for restricting his freedom ( compared to his single friends ), that his younger years are passing   

     fast ( some men feel that when they get to be 30 years old their lives are over ) 

    This is common when men ( not so much women ) get married young, that is why the help of a GOOD marriage counselor can be the solution. The important thing is for you not to give up. 

    I hope that your marriage gets better , but especially for the little one that has a long life ahead. 

    Ps. Ignore all those that say: "It is time time for divorce ". In a divorce there are no winners only losers. Believe me, I know                                                             

  • 1 month ago

    This isn't much of a marriage, is it? Get some counselling together, but I rather suspect that neither of you is really ready for a mature relationship. 

  • 1 month ago

    maybe you shouldnt be with him if hes mistreating you

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