Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 month ago

Why am I so unhappy? Why can't I just get used to my life?

I moved from America to England to be with my husband. Hes from england and lived in America for a while. When we met, I was so in love with him that I married him and came with him to england to start our life. I miss my old life so bad. I often feel depressed. I tried talking to my husband but he keeps saying that I need to get use to my life now. I feel like a stranger here. I've been here for 3 years and I found no friends and people at my job treat me like trash so I dont have anyone I can talk to or become friends with. I feel trapped and lonely. My husband doesn't seem to care. All he cares about is himself. Hes not a bad guy but he doesn't treat me like he use to. I told him that I want to move back to America and he took my American towel and stepped on it and laughed. I was shocked but he kept telling me that hes sick of me wanting to go back home and that England is gonna be my home now. I'm extremely depressed and I feel so numb at this point. It's been 3 years and I'm still not used to it and I want to return home. I was 23 when I got married and now I'm 26 and I feel like I wasted my life away. My passport is expired but i still want to return home and get a divorce. Am I thinking logically? Why cant I get use to my new life? I feel like I made a very bad mistake coming here...

Update:

I'm just not in love with him anymore. Should I email the embassy and let them know of my situation? My husband is a bit controlling and will probably get violent if he knew I'm thinking of going back to America and wanting a divorce

9 Answers

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  • 4 weeks ago

    gosh girl, you rushed into things and now you're realizing that. Yes if it make things better move back and get your life back. 

  • 1 month ago

    Go to the embassy and get it renewed. They might hold it there and let you know when it is ready. Save the money in a secret place he does not look. Book a one way ticket and when he is gone to work, leave. Don't leave a note or anything. Just pack you a bag and go. Don't take too much or he will suspect something when he comes home and might start looking for you. If you can make the reservations around his work schedule (plane leaves while he is at work), pack as much as you want.

  • d j
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    If everything was normal, you would have felt, at home with him. If your husband can't understand your home sickness, then who else will?

    Is he making any efforts to help you feel more comfortable in a different country?

    If the answer is no then you need to reconsider things.

  • 1 month ago

    1 day while he is at work just cram your clothes in suitcase and go home. Leave him a note but make sure your plans are going to work. You don't want him to be looking everywhere for you.

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  • 1 month ago

    find a different job where you fit in better. It's nuts to keep a job you don't like and don't "click" with. What can you expect your husband to do about the fact his wife is miserable and wants to move back to America? He can't really do a darn thing about that. He's only three years into the career he's carving out in his homeland.  If you feel that being married to a good man you chose and living in England with him where his career is equates " I feel like I wasted my life away" at 26 (!) and you want to return to America and be a single woman then do that. It doesn't matter if I think it's logical or not.  I'm a  different person with different life experiences.  Go to the American embassy to discuss your passport issues. Apparently you have some sort of paperwork through your marriage that allows you to remain in England without a valid passport from America. Figure it out. You are a grown up. You are making what appear to you to be grownup decisions.  Don't paralyze yourself or your husband by determining to be miserable. Misery and unhappiness and martyr-ism are all habits that can destroy ANY life so do what you can about conquering them. If you are determined to be unhappy in your marriage and the choices you made at 23 then do something about it. 

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Let the Embassy know about WHAT situation?  Your husband stepped on an American flag (or something)?  No, you aren't thinking logically.

    Go to the American Embassy, file for a new passport, come back to the USA OR consult with an attorney/counselor in the UK.  I don't know the residence requirements for divorce.  If you've been out of the USA for three years you PROBABLY would need to file for a divorce in the UK.

    "Probably violent" is meaningless.  Tell him you are thinking of going "home" on vacation.  Leave everything behind, come back to the USA, don't go back to the UK.

    My ex-husband was a violent man.  He knew I was going to spend the weekend with my parents in another City.  I just never came back and filed for divorce.

    I don't know his side of things, how often you are whining about the problem.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    When will England stop disrespecting America? first they treated us like dirt during the so called "colonization" period... and now they are taking american women to England and treating them badly over there.

  • 1 month ago

    Three years is, for many, not quite enough time to really settle down in a new place. Do you think you might still be having culture shock? Aren't there any places nearby where you can find other ex pat Americans? Facebook exists over there, why not befriend some Americans?

    If you're not working, maybe try volunteering in an international relief agency. Take a break and visit Europe. Join a creative arts group - writing, music, knitting, whatever. Maybe you just need a new circle of friends.

  • Audrey
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    You need to go home. Call your embassy and see if they can't steer you in the right direction. Just don't let him know until you have every detail planned so he can't stop you.  Good luck.

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