Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 2 months ago

I Don’t Feel Comfortable With My Boyfriend Hanging Out With His Cousin ( His Cousin Is VERY unfaithful in his relationship )?

My boyfriend started a new job where his cousin works. His cousin cheats on his girlfriend like ALOT and I’ve seen him in action get girls numbers or have the come over his house etc.  My boyfriend has been hanging out with cousin a lot more outside of work and might I add many girls work where my boyfriend works now, too and one of the girls comes over when his girlfriend is @ work. I trust my boyfriend but its his cousin I don’t trust... but I’ve seen even the most faithful people give in to cheating/ cheating peer pressure ( yes, its a thing and I’ve had former friends tell me “ its just one time “ or “ it won’t mean anything “ etc  )how do I talk to my boyfriend about this? My concerns? I don’t want to argue... I just want to tell him I don’t feel comfortable with him hanging with his cousin a lot and I want him to understand where I am coming from. He didn’t come home til after midnight one night and our texts were very sparse and he was drunk,  I want him to live and I don’t want to sound controling but, in my position can you understand where I am coming from and my concerns? His cousin could care less me, I know that already. ( We all live together his cousin, his cousins girlfriend and me and my boyfriend but his cousin switches between his moms house and our house through the week due to transportation issues to get to work ) 

1 Answer

  • 2 months ago

    "I trust my boyfriend but its his cousin I don’t trust... but I’ve seen even the most faithful people give in to cheating/ cheating peer pressure"

    The hard truth of the matter is that you DON'T trust your boyfriend. If you did, it wouldn't matter who he hung around with, you would trust in his judgment and that he would choose to remain faithful to you. The cousin cannot force your boyfriend to make poor judgment choices and to behave unfaithfully. If your boyfriend does any of this, it is his own choice to do so, the blame for his actions lies entirely on him. No one else. 

    If your boyfriend's behavior (coming home late, getting drunk) really bothers you, then yes, tell him this behavior is unacceptable to you. If your boyfriend doesn't care and continues to behave this way, then you only have two choices: learn to live with and tolerate this behavior, or end the relationship and move out. 

    Also, if you don't trust your boyfriend and if you cannot bring yourself to trust him, it's a poor idea to continue on in this relationship. Trust is the very foundation of a relationship. Without it, the relationship will inevitably crumble on its own.  

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