Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 month ago

Should I tell him what he said made me feel uncomfortable?

Through a mutual friend I have recently reconnected with a guy I dated briefly a few years ago. Back then it was difficult for us to be together and although we both dated other people since, we have both admitted to each other that we still thought about each other often. He told me he wishes we had spent those years together and not with other people. He asked if I had any relationships in that time and I was honest, that I had one relationship in that time - he asked me questions about the guy and I answered his questions but I tried not to talk about my ex too much as I don't think it's healthy. I know he was curious and wanted to know but I could hear on the phone that he was uncomfortable. He asked me if my ex was more attractive than him and if I feel I wasted time on my ex when I could have been with him instead. It was very awkward. He then said he needed some space and he told me he had a gf and couldn't be in touch with me. Then a month later he got in touch and explained that he didn't have a gf at all and he said it because he felt hurt hearing about my ex and he wanted to push me away because he was scared of falling for me again. He apologised and when he asked me about my ex again, I explained it's not healthy to talk about past exes etc. He agreed. But last time we spoke, he went into a bit too much detail about sexual experience with another woman he met a couple of yrs ago. I was so uncomfortable. Should I tell him? I don't want him to think I am jealous.

2 Answers

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago
    Favourite answer

    I would subtly let him know that you do need to hear all the details about his sexual experiences. I would avoid chastising him too much for it because you do not want to drive him away from you given that you have only just reconnected. I think you also need to look at his motives. This guy is not deliberately being a creep but is just a little jealous and insecure about your relationship with your ex. As a result, he is trying to talk himself up in order to put himself on the same level as you and make you feel a little jealous. In saying that, your attitude in not talking about ex's is exactly the strategy you need to use. I think that when this guy realizes that you want to move forward and what has happened with previous guys you have been with is in the past, he will stop with this whole charade. 

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    yes, i would tell him that

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