Anonymous asked in Social SciencePsychology · 2 months ago

How can I get less insecure about my attachments with people in general?

It's happened in romantic relationships in the past and lately it's been happening in friendships as well. I don't want to get unnecessarily specific, but I introduced these two friends of mine a few months ago and they now plan to get a few more roommates and live in an apartment together. They asked me if I wanted to as well, but the reality is I just can't afford it. So I declined, and now I know they've gotten so much closer and sometimes hang out without me. I know I sound possessive but I honestly feel just a little left out. I still see both of them regularly, probably partly because we live in the same apartment complex, but I'm worried that when they actually begin living together that they'll just forget about me or at least see me way less. I just hate feeling this way. Any advice on how to not be so jealous?

4 Answers

  • 2 months ago

    What you need to do is find out who is really a friend.

  • 2 months ago

    Not being in the apartment leaves you out of the group.  See if you can find the means to allow you to move into the apartment.  or accept the fact that you are no longer part of the group.  Situations & circumstances prevent you from being part of the group.  Change that if you can.

  • 2 months ago

    By putting your faith in Jesus Christ.  He is a faithful friend. If you follow Him as best you can, everything else in life will work out okay.  Please read the New Testament for more information.  I suggest starting with the Gospel of John. 

  • 2 months ago

    It seems to me that social media has created a phenomenon I call the "McFriend." It's so easy to make friends online, and this has resulted in a transience of friendships. If you get tired of a friendship, you can always get some new ones. 

    I heard a talk by a therapist on the topic of divorce. She said that marriages would be more stable if people abandoned the romantic notion that the spouse is the answer to all one's problems, the idea of "You complete me." People should develop the ability to be happy with or without help from others. I suggest thinking about the activities you can rely on, things that make your life meaningful, be it a hobby, art, or volunteer work. 

    Thousands of years ago, a wise man said that discontentment comes from three poisons of the mind - attachment, which is derived from the illusion that things can be permanent, fear, and ignorance about these two.   

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