Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 2 months ago

Will missing 3 of my supervised visits in a row ruin my chances at getting full custody back?

My ex has sole legal and physical custody. I have 2 hour supervised visits on Saturday, however I have missed 3 visits in a row. They haven't ask been my fault, I missed the first visit on 1/2/20 because I got arrested for violating the restraining order, because I was telling at my ex because I saw him on the bus with our daughter and got angry. On the 9th I missed because I have a warrant for violating the restraining order on a different date and didn't want to get arrested at the court house and on the 16th I missed because of the same reason. On the 23rd I might not go I have a hearing for violating the terms of my probation on the 27th and custody courts for my ex asking to suspend my rights is on 2/2/21. Any chance the judge will keep these supervised visits going

17 Answers

Relevance
  • ?
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    I don't believe a word of it. If by any chance you aren't trolling, you are insane or at least criminally irresponsible.

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    I'd say your chances are zero.  C'mon, you said these missed visits weren't your fault, and then your description of what happened makes you sound like a one woman wrecking crew. Apparently, you don't understand the importance of following the law and being accountable for your horrible choices.  I hope you never get near those poor kids.

  • Carmen
    Lv 5
    2 months ago

    A wise person sees red flags or possible danger signs and try to protect themselves and those they love it seems from your story of things he is trying to be wise and protect y’all child from you especially if there are illegitimate reasons too. Missing any appointments without a good cause isn’t being responsible or just showing you don’t care but missing visitation appointments over and over in a row without legitimate reasons is showing irresponsibility or lack of natural affection for your child. Only you can prove your worth to your child and the judge case workers etc. Pray for help if you need it physically mentally emotionally if you don’t want to lose your child and rights but if you can’t or don’t want to be in her life right now until you’re more stable then let her father take care of her. 

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    I don't think it'll be just the missed visitations that'll doom your bid for custody. You're clearly exhibiting criminally obsessive behavior and no family court judge is going to give a child to someone who can't even obey a restraining order. In fact even having a restraining order against you at all is reason enough to not trust you with a kid. 

  • What do you think of the answers? You can sign in to give your opinion on the answer.
  • Kelly
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Chances of getting custody back is very slim.  Especially if that other parent is stable and hopefully they are because it's the only normalcy this child seems to have.

    At minimum you will lose visitation rights for a while and they will come up with a parenting plan for you (to teach you how to parent) if they haven't already. Worse case scenario you'll lose your parental rights. If/when you lose parental rights your child's other parent doesn't have to allow you access to the child... ever.  

    Missing visits shows your lack of commitment to your child and the reasons you list are good ways to actually have your rights terminated which is what I suspect is what the intention is for your 2/2 court date.  Not suspended but moving forward with actual termination.  Though termination can actually take several years because it's a very last resort.

    I've done foster care for years and parents missing visits is quite common.  All sorts of excuses and like you, they blame everyone but their self.  A lot of the parents miss more visits than they show up for.  Their case worker sets up the visits, I transport them there and the case worker supervises it.  A lot have issues with transportation so the visits are always somewhere close to them that is often within a walking distance from where they are living.  At some point when they've missed many, I just stop telling the kids about the visit so they're not disappointed.  I often have to figure out how to answer "why doesn't my mom/dad want to see me?" without saying "because they're a POS".  Your kid is likely asking this right now if they're old enough to realize they're not seeing you.  Then I have other parents who always find a way to show up and adhere to their parenting plan, work at bettering their self and do anything that is asked of them to get their kids back.  

    Your kid may not be in foster care but the plans for visitation and regaining custody are similar to yours.

  • ?
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    They haven't been your fault? Lets review shall we?

    1- You got arrested for blantantly violating a court order

    2- You got arested again for violating a restraining order

    3- 3rd time same as the 1st.

    These are all results of very poor choices you have made, and it seems you still plan on making them (ie considering not showing up for a custody hearing) in the not to distant future. These are all poor choices that YOU decided to make all on your own, ergo, you have nobody to blame for them but yourself!

    The judge won't terminate visits for missing a hearing, but he or she sure as hell will for blantant and repeated criminal behaviour on your time. 

  • Ann
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Missing three visits in a row has indeed been your fault, because 1)you violated the restraining order placed on you by yelling at your ex in public, and 2) you didn't show up because "you didn't want to get arrested for breaking the restraining order".  Have you even taken into account at all how this must make your child feel, to not get to see you at all?  It's certainly not the child's fault, nor your ex's fault, that your behavior is so erratic.  Now you say you plan to miss a future visit.  I seriously doubt that the judge is going to continue to let you see the child, based on your actions.  My recommendation is that you get serious help for your anger problem.

    Source(s): licensed professional counselor
  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    i would talk to a lawyer about it

  • Eva
    Lv 5
    2 months ago

    It's not missing the visits that will interfere with you getting custody, it's WHY you missed them that will ruin your chances.

  • 2 months ago

    You have to stop being selfish and getting into trouble for the sake of these innocent children. If you have anger issues you need to get yourself help and learn to control your emotions.  All children  need are loving , peaceful parents. There is enough trouble and suffering in the world and you have to ge yourself together. Don’t delay but start today to be a better person. You want your children to know that their dad changed because he loved them. Do everything in your power to change. Maybe you are* going to loose your rights, but that doesn’t mean that it is forever. You can work hard on getting your life back on track . To become a role model for your children. Find a job. Doesn’t matter what Kind of job, even if you have to start at the bottom. Look after yourself and respect your body. Get of alcohol and drugs. If you truly love your children, you would do anything for them. https://www.jw.org/en/library/magazines/g201303/be...

Still have questions? Get answers by asking now.