Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 2 months ago

Why do I hate men?

Hear me out! I’ve loved lots of men and get love in return but for some reason I always find myself so hurt by their actions that I have all this hate in me towards them. I feel deep inside that they are pigs, they only want sex, watch porn and would F anything with a butt and boobs... and I’ve had this thought with every man I’ve been with, so obviously it’s me. I feel like deep down I have hate towards them all, just for hurting me or making me feel jealous or insecure... I tend to feel jealous or insecure and then enjoy seeing them suffer by arguing or fighting with them and not until I see them cry or hurt I start to feel bad about it. It’s like revenge for hurting me. It’s pretty messed up. 

93 Answers

  • 1 month ago

    Try thinking of how it would be if guys treated you right you'd probably feel the same way. 

  • SW-6
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    Friend, it will get better.  I was you, the same person after years of this negative thinking and hatred of men using me like that.  I am not saying forgive them.  I am saying forgive YOURSELF for not being able to let it go, for not being able to trust men, for the hate, all of it.  Know that the reason you felt like this is from the years of putting up with it.  Forgive yourself for this way of thinking and aim to do better going forward.  You don't have to forgive any of the ones who hurt you so much, but you do need to stop expecting it to be so much better.  SOME men are absolute pigs, inhuman, disgusting disrespectful selfish S-holes, and will always be, for the rest of your life.  Think of it this way - some men out there feel the same way about women as you feel about men.  But it isn't true that ALL women are monsters.  You aren't are you?  Once you let it sink in good that SOME men out there are terrible people and you are going to encounter these idiots every once in a while, you will free yourself from the fear of thinking you will always get the short end of the stick.  If you get involved with the S Holes just know in your heart that you deserve better and life is to short to put up with the BS.  Move on and continue your search for a GOOD MAN.  I just about gave up on men being anything but inhuman pigs, till I met the man of my dreams 12 years ago who changed my whole outlook of men.  There are some good ones out there honey.  All you have to do is not settle for the S holes that treat you like crap and fill your life with sorrow, depression, worry, the need for revenge, any of that BS.  Life is too short.  IF you feel the man you are with at any time is making you this unhappy weak desperate thing, MOVE ON.  All men don't make you feel like this - the right one is out there and you deserve him just as he deserves you.  Never settle, always get what you deserve.  And remember - Life is too short for anything less that the best for you and your life.  Good luck to you :)

  • Ya-Hoo
    Lv 4
    1 month ago

    Hating men for desiring sex is ridiculous. Sounds like you hate nature, and would like more respect from men and hate your place in female hierarchy.

  • 1 month ago

    its because you hate yourself and blame it on them cuz thats easier and in short term not as painful.  you blame the for giving it up so easily but not yourself for the exact same reason, you also give it up so easily.  in that, its going to hurt a lot more before it gets better. 

    honestly, you might have had affection and good feelings for them but 'love'? no.  love isnt just enjoying sex and the company. love is a commitment and not just for fun.  if you based one relationship on commitment and not sex, you will see a huge difference.  ie, when i met my wife, we did not have sex for several months, i think six. we didnt even hold hands for the first two.  why? cuz of all the previous relationships i had that jumped into physical stuff for fun in hopes emotions and commitment would follow never materialized.  if they give up the sex first, and you too, emotions rarely ever follow. they can, but the odds are so much against you.  its like cheating on the test but expecting the career to be easy anyways even tho you you have no idea what you are doing. 

    date with intent if you want to find someone with good intentions.  if you are not perfect, dont expect to find the perfect person. 

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  • 1 month ago

    Well men do have 9 times the sex drive as women, so what you say about them is true, except for the "pig" part, because that's a farm animal.

    However, men can love and connect deeply with the right woman.  Your feelings of jealousy and insecurity is just a reminder that you aren't the only woman in the world, and there are other options for men.  You're directing the blame of your pain on to men, when the blame is really on the way the world is.  It's natural to feel this way, but you have to put a reign to it in order to prevent it from hurting others and damaging your relationships.

    Men's nature is something you will have to live with, but if you can build a good precedent of having empathy for one another, the man in the relationship will be understanding of your pain and do his best to not do things that result in you getting hurt.

    At the end of the day, you are responsible for how you feel, not others.  Start with that, and learn how to control your mood and mental state by taking up regular meditation.

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    I agree with you, but not ALL men are bad, just like women!

  • 1 month ago

    Lol. Okay. But you need to use a little more brain than just your emotions. Stop stereotyping men, not all men are same. Stop it. Trust me if you are straight/Bi then you will one day find a man who will change your perception on us. 

    It's fine, cuz we all have that part in our brains which makes us stereotype. There are a lot of men too who are straight yet hate women, thinking women are all pseudo feminist. But not all men are bad, not all women are bad. Bad is just circumstances. I hate misogynists and also I hate misandrists(people who hate men).

    Don't hate us, please. The world needs men as much as it needs women.

  • ?
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    Cut your hair and become a butch lesbian, because you sound like one

  • 1 month ago

    You set yourself up to be hurt! Why blame others for your apparent lack of self control? Men can't screw you over unless you allow them to!

  • 2 months ago

    First thing to look at is your family. How did your parents, and other adults in your life, talk about men when you were growing up? What were your mom's relationships like? Is there a man or men in your life who hurt you very deeply? Maybe you were molested or dumped or hurt by one somehow, and you still harbor some resentment? Or maybe you know other people who were hurt by men, and you haven't really processed that, yet. If it's getting in the way of having healthy relationships, or it's deeply troubling you, best to discuss it with a therapist who can help you cope. 

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