Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 month ago

Stepson causing trouble ?

My 14 year old stepson has recently started smoking, he denies it to me and his dad but it’s quite obvious he is. My 5 year old son caught him smoking in our back yard yesterday. Today he told me that his brother made him promise he’d never tell us, my 5 year old has been acting a little strange today quiet and a bit clingy, it makes me wonder what else did his older brother say to him. He told me then started crying he generally looked terrified. I’ve confronted my eldest but he’s saying my 5 year old is lying. He knows he’s not aloud to smoke under our roof, there’s consequences if we catch him (no Xbox or WiFi) but around his mum he’s aloud so it makes it so difficult for us! (He lives with us full time) I’m at a loss 

5 Answers

  • ?
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    maybe you should ask your 5 yr old about it

  • 1 month ago

    Bottom line:  No parent should allow an older child to bully a younger one.

    So don't make this about the fact that the 14 year old is destroying his health with his mother's consent, make the punishment about bullying.  It cannot be tolerated.

  • Carmen
    Lv 5
    1 month ago

    Hello concerned one it can be a challenge when it comes to divided households but the beauty of your household should be staying in control of whatever goes on especially when it comes to rules or discipline because of lack of obeying rules. Someone has to be the Chief in charge otherwise the Indians will take over regardless of what’s allowed in another household. As the saying goes spare the rod spoil the child or if they allowed to do as they please trouble is sure to follow. Put your foot down show tough love because as you mentioned your 5 year old is being affected negatively and children are like sponges they absorb what they see and hear. Pray for courage strength guidance endurance boldness a calm heart and your peace of mind. 

  • T J
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Do not get to heavy handed, he can cause you all the problems that you care to deal with. He can make you want to move out , if he tries.   Remember  you are not his Mom.

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  • 1 month ago

    he is not smoking...youd be able to smell it a mile away wheterh it was weed or cigarettes....but maybe he is vaping..either way...calling the 5 year old a liar is classic defense mechanism......smell his shirts and jackets!!

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