Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 month ago

My guy doesn't like my body?

We are middle aged and I have a body that reflects that. I'm just sick of him making jokes or comments about it specifically one specific area of my body. That particularly makes me feel ugly. Even if he stops I know how he feels about it and this above all makes me not want to have sex any more. What do I do?

Update:

I have a normal sex drive. He just makes me feel too ugly.

5 Answers

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  • 1 month ago
    Favourite answer

    Have you talked to him and told him how you feel? If you don't tell him, he will probably never know. Men can be clueless, even when you think something is obvious or you're hinting at something.

    I can kinda relate to you because my boyfriend of a year and a half said to me in the beginning of the relationship that my boobs weren't big enough, my stomach wasn't flat enough, and my butt wasn't big enough. Probably the most insulting thing I've ever heard and I made sure he knew I was offended. He was dumbfounded. Apparently it came out way wrong and that wasn't the way he meant it at all. I still think about it to this day and I wish I could forget it because it hurts, but I stayed with him because I do believe it was a mistake. He worships my body all the time and talks about how much he loves it, but it took me a while to be comfortable with having sex with him again.

    You deserve to be with someone who makes you feel good about yourself; not someone who brings you down. And if this guy is not willing to change the way he "jokes" then you can find someone else who loves the way you look and doesn't put you down. 

    I would not put up with that at all and neither should you. If my boyfriend hadn't profusely apologized for what he said and tell me how much he didn't mean it, I would've broken up with him.

    Why would he want to be with me if he didn't like the way I looked? And you should be asking yourself that about your man.

    Best of luck!

  • ?
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    move on......he is a loser friend or lover

  • 1 month ago

    sounds like your taking care of it.

  • T J
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Leave him.............

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    You didn’t say what he said to you, so I don’t know if he’s a jerk or if you’re over sensitive. But in general, it’s never acceptable for a man to criticize a woman’s body. At his age, he should know that by now. I assume he doesn’t have a perfect body either. You could give him a taste of his own medicine and start pointing out his love handles. You could even mock the size of his junk, but that would be opening a can of worms. But it might make him self conscious and maybe he would understand how his comments make you feel. Two wrongs don’t make a right, but sometimes people don’t realize how hurtful their actions are until it happens to them. I suggest you start by talking to him about it calmly. Use “I” statements (I feel hurt when...). If that doesn’t work, then you can try to make him experience what it feels like by doing it to him. If he wants to have sex, you can say “no, I don’t wanna sleep with someone who thinks I have an ugly ____.” If he refuses to stop mocking your body, I’m sure there’s plenty of guys out there who would find you sexy. Most guys are respectful enough to keep their thoughts to themselves even if they think their woman has body flaws. Yours is either a total jerk, or a complete idiot. If he can’t respect your feelings enough to stop after you ask him, then I suggest you move on. I’m sure you can do better no matter what’s wrong with your body. I’ve gained a lot of weight recently, and I have no trouble finding guys who like it. You CAN do better!

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