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Should I stay out of this quarrel.?
My daughter is 26 years old and lives with my wife and I and our home. She is a social worker so doesn't make a large income and the average apartment here on Long Island for a one bedroom is $1800 a month. Three days ago my wife and daughter had an argument and they are talking. Now my daughter wants to move out which is a good idea but in the meantime both of them are very upset. Should I speak with my daughter and tell her to get back with her mom and make up. By the way my wife has done everything for this child including her laundry cooking meals and cleaning. For these reasons maybe it's a good idea even if it's economically and feasible. Should I stay out of this whole situation.
- Common SenseLv 72 months ago
Your daughter is 26 and living like a 12 year old by having Mommy do everything for her. That is not doing your daughter any good but it is causing her to be irresponsible for herself. Not good.
Your daughter SHOULD move out if she wants to do so.
Yes, stay out of their fight. Be neutral.
- 2 months ago
Their fight, their solution and dont be a part of the solution. Unless asked. If asked, then you can share what you think or how you feel. But until then, let them fight their own battles.
At 26 it is probably time your daughter have her own space and learn responsibilities and how life works including laundry and cooking and the value of a dollar and how to budget.
It is sad to see your children finally move out of the home that you have nurtured them, to also happy to see that they will get some experience because you know that you and your wife will be around forever.
- robert xLv 72 months ago
dads and daughters: if anyone can placate the situation between your wife and daughter than its you: Daughters listen to their dads, a quiet word with her should help...
- AnnLv 72 months ago
Your wife is still treating your daughter as if she's a child. You need to talk to your daughter, but don't "tell her" anything. She's an adult. Just lay out what will happen if she moves out. If she chooses to do that to get away from your wife, then the choice will be on her. Don't pay her rent if she moves, because again, that would be treating her as if she isn't capable of taking care of herself.
- bluebellbkkLv 72 months ago
Please don't "tell" your daughter to do anything. But by all means sit down and TALK to her.
Then all three of you should agree not to talk about this business for at least a week while tempers cool and second and maybe third thoughts occur to you all.
- BlushLv 62 months ago
No, you should stick up for your wife. You guys can talk it out hopefully, your kid is 26!
- Anonymous2 months ago
I don't see why you'd stay out of it. It impacts you as much as anyone. But I'm not sure what exactly you'd say. If your wife "does everything" for her, this isn't helpful, especially at her age. That goes triple if she's never lived on her own. When parents wait too long to force the issue, a type of fear takes over, where the adult child is actually afraid to become independent. At 26, she's approaching the "red flag" age.
I mention this because having her own apt is not the only way to get started, and she'll never leave if that's the goal. I just glanced at the house shares on the LI craigslist, and there are plenty in the $500-$800 range. These are becoming even more popular, and they're a great "baby step" towards independence. They're easy to get into, they're cheap, and they're fun. Obviously, she needs to meet the people living there and she'd want some stability in it, but this could be the answer to everything.
- heart o' goldLv 72 months ago
I suggest you be loving and supportive of both of them and let them work it out. If you try to get involved on either side if will feel like ganging up to the other one. This sounds like pretty normal behavior in close quarters in this kind of situation. Try to be the calming force that helps them settle down so they can work it out.
- .Lv 62 months ago
If your daughter is a social worker, she should be well-equipped to deal with interpersonal conflicts.
Be the husband to your wife, father to your daughter, and lead by example.
We can’t fix everything, we can just be good people and set good examples.
- MurzyLv 72 months ago
MYOB and let them work it out.