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How to discipline an autistic pre-teen ?

So my boyfriend has an almost 11-year-old son on the autism spectrum. He never acts up when he is around us, but when he is at his mother's house he acts up by hitting his sisters, family, or breaking something. He's a preteen, and he thinking swear words are funny and cool to say/listen to. He always exits the webpage when his father is coming around when he is listening to these explicit videos, but he will come up to me and say them jokingly. I am not his parent so I find it hard to control it because I do not want to overstep my boundary. Anyways what are some tips for dealing with these behaviors, thank you. 

6 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago
    Favourite answer

    This is something for you to discuss with your boyfriend.  Since this is NOT your child and you are not engaged nor married to this person, you have no real rights to discipline your bf's son.  That is entirely his problem.  The adult thing for you to do here is use your communication skills...and if that doesn't work then you need to consider if its worth being in a relationship with someone who doesn't oversee the behavioral aspects of parenting.  You can choose to ignore the comments the autistic child is making, as he more than likely doesn't even understand what he's doing is wrong.  A coping technique that works well is not spying on the kid and putting a pair of headphones on him so that what he's listening to is no longer offensive to you.  His father can put parental locks on his pc so he cannot watch the adult materials.  

  • Rita
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    Be Consistent. The benefits of discipline are the same whether kids have special needs or not. ...

    Learn About Your Child's Condition. ...

    Defining Expectations. ...

    Use Rewards and Consequences. ...

    Use Clear and Simple Messages. ...

    Offer Praise. ...

    Establish a Routine. ...

    Believe in Your Child.

  • 1 month ago

    I'd break up with the boyfriend OwO UWU

  • 2 months ago

    You and his father can't do much about his behavior at his mother's house; but at your home you can enforce appropriate boundaries when it comes to electronics. If he's not able to make sure he listens to appropriate music, then he may only use the computer or other devices in the same room as an adult, no headphones. Be direct, say, "I don't find that funny." Ask him what he finds funny about those things, many times just asking someone to explain themselves is enough. 

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  • helene
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    You don't have to be his parent. As a human being, you are allowed to say "You are not allowed to say those words around me," particularly if they are sexual profanities. HE is violating YOUR boundaries, not the other way around.

    If he persists, throw both the little assholes out of your home.

    If it happens at your boyfriend's house, leave. 

    If you live with your boyfriend, God help you, you'll have to repeat this performance like 80 million times.

    You are not violating anyone's boundaries. You are establishing how YOU refuse to be treated.  If his parents are okay with the kid hitting them, stealing from them, and destroying their things, that's their problem. It does not have to be yours.

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Find him something else to spend time doing such as creative artistic stuff like drawing, painting, making things. And try and get him off adult YouTube and on to YouTube Kids.

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