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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 2 months ago

My husband brought home a stray dog, now I'm stressed out and miserable. Should I tell him I don't want it in our house?

My husband and I have always had a rule of no kids and no pets. However, he broke this rule 2 months ago when he found an abandoned puppy tied up in a parking lot. I'm all for rescuing animals and helping them get adopted - as long as it's by someone else. I just don't want them in my house. I don't like having to be responsible for anything except myself, I love my freedom.

For 12 years of marriage with my husband, everything was peaceful. Dare I say: it was nearly perfect. I have a really good job so I'm able to work part time, come home just after lunch time and feel as though I still had the whole day ahead of me. I'd go for a walk, relax in a bath tub, and have an amazing dinner ready for the both of us for 5:30pm on the dot.

Now, I feel as though my days are wasted by training this thing that I didn't even want. It makes me not want to be home at all. I went from singing in the car on my way home from work to crying in the parking lot. This is the loudest, most disobedient, annoying dog ever. I just hate it and I don't understand why my husband felt the need to just take it back to our place so suddenly. My life literally changed in one day, and I hate the person that I am now. 

I've told my husband that this dog isn't working out for me but every time I mention it he acts shocked and goes into a "How could you say that?" speech; or "But this dog was abandoned. He needs us." Okay, he needs somebody, it doesn't have to be us. I'm at the point where I feel like leaving

Update:

Haha I like your attitude. I know it sounds absolutely horrible for me to suggest this: but what if it just, "Accidentally" got out of the house while I was doing house work? 

I know it makes me sound like Satan, but I can't get ANYTHING done without this thing begging for attention. I'm not the attention/coddling type of woman. I'm just not. I can't get through my daily routine like I used to and I hate this. I hate it with everything I have in me. I know it's not dog's fault, it's husband's. 

Update 2:

Seronyte: Blocked and reported. I didn't ask for anone to tell me that my feelings were "wrong". If you don't like how I feel, then don't answer the question. Simple!

16 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    You need professional help and be medicated your husband did a decent thing by rescuing that puppy. and all you care about is yourself maybe you should do him a favor and the puppy and just leave they will be much happier without you in their lives.

  • 2 months ago

    "My husband and I have a rule no pets".  Are you sure this rule belonged to both of you and not to you alone?  Maybe your husband always wanted A dog.  But he didn't choose this one and nor did you.

    I don't know if you have an adequate yard or not.  That makes a difference.  We have always had outside dogs that we choose to let inside occasionally as a special treat.  Is the problem THIS dog or ANY dog.  That too makes a difference. Let us imagine that he did want a dog.  Is there any way to compromise on the type of dog and how to house it and care for it or is this a situation where neither of you are able to compromise.

    My wife was the animal person, not me.  But over the years I have been broken down gradually and now I love our beautiful dog. 

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  • 2 months ago

    Oh, I am with you on this one. Owning a pet is like having a toddler that just never grows up. You don't want this in your life and hubby is selfish as can be.

    Drop the dog off at a local animal shelter where someone who wants him can adopt him. If hubby gets angry - - too bad. He had no right to bring home an abandoned dog for you to train and raise without your consent. I would be livid!

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    I’m not a dog person so I can completely understand. 

    My opinion is your husband brought him home, The dog is his sole responsibility. I would not lift a finger to do anything. Because men are very good at doing a good deed then dropping it in our laps and then blaming us when we don’t want the responsibility. I can already hear his excuses, I’m at work, you have more time with me etc... I say fk him. I’d find someone to take the dog or take him to a shelter. If he doesn’t like it, he can pack his crap and leave. Good luck!

  • 2 months ago

    Well, you know what they say "choose your own pressure. If not, life will give you what to work with"

    If you say your marriage was so peaceful for 12 years, then from your story this abandoned dog is your greatest growth point. 

    I'm glad you don't have children, because children often bring home someone who needs saving: a lizard, a frog, a spider, an ant.... and then of course, kittens, puppies, birds... 

    I don't really know what to tell you about a dog. Maybe you can get a playpen or some house fence to situate the animal.

    It should free your hands for a while and give you time for what you need to do until husband gets home. If not, maybe there are puppy day care near you?

    One of my neighbors is using TV for his dog. He says it works really well. I guess, he watches animal planet or something like that, and then he barks if anyone is at the door.

    We adopted stray cats. One was especially a handful at first and had aggressive behavioral issues. Turned out later he also had bad karma hanging over him and we almost lost him due to urinary blockage. 

    Thank God we found solutions and saved his penis from being cut. 

    Sometimes you really don't know why something happens until later on in life.

    Do the right thing or do your part the best you can, elevate someone else's bad karma and you might be able to improve yours)

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    First, you aren't coming across well here, especially on the updates.  This is worldwide site populated by many teens.  If someone gives you a dumb answer, be the adult and move on.  On your question, it sounded fine until the very end where you said you're thinking of leaving.  That's a pretty big overreaction, since you never mentioned problem solving or trying to reach a compromise.

    For example, have you offered to reach out to friends/fam to see if anyone else would want to care for the dog?   What would your husband say to that?  Has he reached out?  Your idea about allowing him to escape makes you sound like a passive aggressive cruel jerk.  This isn't going to help anything, and none of this is the dog's fault.  That doesn't matter to you, which is fine.  But most people do love dogs.  If you love your husband, yes he created a problem, but he'll never forgive you if you do something stupid.  Another option is have a chat where you identify what is stressing you and he offers to fix it.  This is how adults operate.

    PS - @GF, screw you to hell and back.  Never give a dog away for free unless you know the person or it's someone you've carefully checked out.  

  • 2 months ago

    That's the trouble with life, isn't it; we are cruising along happily and suddenly we get a flat! If you are going to live happily ever after in your marriage there will have to be some sacrifice from one of you. If you keep the dog, you will have to train it, of course - no doubt there are plenty of videos for that. Then you will have an obedient dog who loves you, and you will have an appreciative husband with whom you have something extra in common and to talk about. If you do take it to a dogs' home your husband may well resent you for it. You may even come to love your dog!

    Good Luck!

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Why are you not trying to find a home for the dog?  That would be the obvious solution.  Barring that, find a dog trainer to work with.  This should take care of your most immediate issues.  As for letting the dog "escape", that would be cruel and inhumane, and hopefully your husband divorces you for even thinking about it.  Consider therapy to figure out why you're lacking in basic human decency.

  • 2 months ago

    You should have that lack of empathy checked out by a professional. It's not normal to be so emotionless that you would leave your husband over something so trivial, and refer to animals as 'things'. Your husband would be lucky if you left. To be so narcissistic and self centered that you cry over a small change of events in your life is mind blowing. 

  • GF
    Lv 6
    2 months ago

    Our house. This means both have a say in what stays ad goes. He wants it you don't. Tie it to a tree with a sign 'free'

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