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Valll asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 2 months ago

i need advice?

i am currently 17 turning 18 this year. i graduate next may however i am already ahead of the game taking college classes. studying abroad has always been a dream of mine and i just want to get out if of here, even if its temporary. however my father says no. my father says i cant move out until im 29 or have a degree. he says if i move abroad (even tho i assured him it's temporary) he said he would die from missing me. i have never had a job, dont have my liscense, both of my parents have narcissistic guilt tripping tendencies and i am sick of it. am i wrong for wanting to get out? i feel like i need to but i would feel guilty.

11 Answers

  • 1 month ago

    They can’t force you to live there after 18. That’s imprisonment. If you decide to leave and be on your own, make sure you can afford it then leave. They will get over it eventually. 

  • T J
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Once you are 18, get the hell away from him. He will stop you from having the future you want. Do what ever you must, but get out of their rule.

  • L
    Lv 5
    2 months ago

    It's super expensive to study abroad.............who's going to pay for this?  Go to college, get a degree, get a good job and then travel.

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    If you work hard you'll have a degree long before you're 29. Then you can move out and perhaps do some traveling. 

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  • 2 months ago

    Once you are 18, you may leave and do as you please.

    But the bottom line is this:  Who is paying for college?  If you are, then go where you want to go.  It's your money.

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    once youre 18 you can do what you want, and if hes going to miss you maybe he can go with you

  • 2 months ago

    It's not safe to move abroad right now due to COVID, but it's not wrong to want out especially if your parents are like that. When you're eighteen, start applying for jobs, take the bus, walk if you have to. Depending on where you live, you might be able to go out and take your driver's test after paying a fee,

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Your dad is a controlling jerk and if your mom isn't helping you deal with this, so is she.  It's the natural order of things that a child grows into an adult and now it is THEIR time to start their own life.  If parents make you feel guilty, this is incredibly cruel.  Find a sane older person you trust and talk to them about all this.  They'll help you see how manipulative your parents are.  

    On the rest, odds are very low you'll be able to leave when you turn 18, simply because most of us don't even fully understand yet what this entails.  It's mostly about finances.  But still, there might be options.  Do you have an older relative you like and trust?  It doesn't have to be local and in some ways it might be better if it isn't.  Don't use studying abroad as a way to escape.  You'll have plenty of  opportunities for this down the road, but for now, it's too big a step.  

    I have an idea that might work.   Are you familiar with job corps? This is a great program that provides housing and further education for teens. The day you turn 18, you can walk out and do this. (You can do it before then, but you need parental permission ,which you won't get).  Anyway, take a look at their brochure: 

    Also, whatever happens, don't make the common mistake of talking about this too much.  This just adds stress, your parents pile on more guilt, and you'll end up backing off.  Once you're at the point of finalizing plans, give your parents a day or 2 notice.  In fact, technically you don't have to give notice at all. Get your stuff out while they're gone and leave a letter for them to read.  

  • ?
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Well, guilt never killed anyone. You're not wrong for wanting to have a life of your own, absolutely not. 

  • 2 months ago

    Do what you want with your life.  Don't live your life for others. Your Dad won't die if you go away for a while.  

    And i'm sure he left his parents' home at one time during his younger years, so did your Mom. It's what kids do as they become young adults.  

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