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Are you in favor of cohabitation before marriage? why or why not? ?

22 Answers

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  • 1 month ago

    im not in favor of it even tho ive done it.  ask yourself this, how long have you known your best friend and do you think you know them enuf to be roommates and not be surprised after moving in? if you didnt take long enuf to get to know each other properly before moving in, who is to say you will still be able to get to know each other properly just because you did before marriage?

    ive done it, was not a guarantee at all. mostly due to expectations over reality as to why it will fail.  my second marriage we took a year to get to know each other, lived common law for two more before we got married. its been another two.  my first marriage lasted 13 years but we honestly did not get to know each other before or during. we were both being more take than give even if one was more of that than the other of the two of us.  this time i wasnt going to marry without doing my homework first, on myself and then repeating that with her. no wishful thinking, all the hopes and hormones in the world isnt going to substitute for putting in the time to make sure you are a good match. any two people can be a good match as long as they both give without taking. if you want to meet the right person for you, you first have to be the right person for yourself. 

    its those who mostly or only take and not give that coz the problems, and the fools who still fall for them cuz of those hopes and hormones. why do people move in together before marriage? selfishness, to impatient to make the hormones wait with more hope than homework that it will work. like buying a lottery ticket, taking chances.  love is not the thing to be taking chances with, its the most important and best feeling emotion in your life, if you mess it up, its also the most painful emotion in your life.  plant the seed, let it grow by cultivating and taking care of it, not letting it grow wild by chance.

  • ?
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    Absolutely! If not, how do you know if you're right to live with each other? What if you like hanging out with someone, but it turns out that they're a horrible roommate? Good thing you weren't married yet...I should think that if a couple is really in love, they can't wait to move in with each other anyway.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    I'm certainly not against it, but I definitely think there's a right and wrong way to do it.  I've done one of each lol.

    In far too many cases, people do this for the wrong reason.  It's not the "next step", and it's not playing house.  It's running a home together, which always brings stress.  Like everything else in a relationship, this depends on mature, open, honest communication.  It also means that the couple be realistic.  Before you talk about how fun it will be to wake up each morning in the same bed, make sure you've thoroughly covered finances, chores, etc.  If it's done too soon or for the wrong reasons, it can sabotage a promising relationship.  The couple just wasn't ready.

    The other big mistake is moving straight from home in with a bf/gf.  Take time to enjoy that short window of living independently and answerable to no one.  The other reason this is  bad is each person in a serious relationship needs to prove to the other that they CAN live on their own, being responsible, balancing a budget etc.

  • 1 month ago

    Yes because it's cheaper and you get to know your partner better even my catholic boomer aunt and uncle cohabitated before marriage. 

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Once upon a time, I would have said no, based on my religious belief.  Then I married a man I really knew nothing about, because he led me to believe he was a totally different kind of person from what he really was.  When we were dating, he was clean and polite. Back in those days, cohabitation wasn't a option.  When we got back from our honeymoon, he immediately became abusive and belligerent, and he wasn't a clean person at all.  Refused to bathe regularly, left a mess in the tub after he bathed, wouldn't brush his teeth, etc.  That might seem trivial, but day after day, year after year, it gets old.  He was also insanely jealous and he spent every dime we had on gambling.  He also declared that he was going to "retire" and let me take care of him.  He quit his job, and expected me to support him.  If I had known beforehand what he was really like, I would have never said "yes" and would have run.  If a person wants to find out beforehand what someone is really like, live together for six months and you'll find out.

  • 1 month ago

    I am in favor of it provided it is done at the right time, i.e. after 6 months to a year of dating versus the first night you met. 

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    I think it's a good idea to cohabit for at least 5 years before signing up for life. This gives you a chance to adjust with minimum pressure and also a way out if things aren't working.

  • ?
    Lv 5
    1 month ago

    In favor of.  It's better to live together, before marriage, to make sure the two of you can get along before getting married.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Yes, and I'll take the question a step further - I was a virgin and I married a virgin.  He was, at best, inept and down strange.  After 2 years I filed for divorce.  If we had lived together before marriage I would never have married him, and I would have saved 2 years of my life and a lot of money.

  • 1 month ago

    If someone moves in with their significant other before marriage, it's not really any of my business.  I don't sit around thinking about this.

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