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Kathy
Lv 5
Kathy asked in Society & CultureEtiquette · 1 month ago

Is it reasonable to ask to go first?

You and another person are in the kitchen. Both of you are about to use the microwave. The other guy's food will take 5 minutes to heat up while what you want to heat up takes only 30 seconds. The other guy got to the microwave before you and already placed his food in there. Since you know that his food would take longer than yours to heat up and he was unaware that your food would take a shorter time to heat up, you ask him before he got a chance to close its door if you could use the microwave first. Would it be reasonable to ask him that or would he be justified in being annoyed?

15 Answers

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  • 1 month ago
    Favourite answer

    It would be unreasonable to ask someone to remove their food from the microwave for the sake of you avoiding a 5 minute wait. If things were all that time sensitive for you then you should have said something in advance, not after the other person's food is already in the oven. 

  • L
    Lv 5
    1 month ago

    The rules are 'first come - first served'............meaning; if another person gets to the microwave before you (no matter how long it takes to heat their food up) - they go FIRST.  You just have to be patient and wait.

  • 1 month ago

    This really is a matter of being patient and taking your turn. The other person was clearly there first and your usage is irrelevant to his.

    It is not reasonable to ask someone to remove their food from the microwave so you can go first. That is just flat out self entitled rudeness.

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Depends on the situation. If this is your sibling, parent, child or romantic partner you might ask them nicely if you can go first. If this is your roommate it's usually first come/first serve. 

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    He already had his food In there. Just let it go. If he hadn’t put the food in yet then yes you could nicely ask. 

  • ?
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    i would just ask him in a nice way

  • 1 month ago

    It isn't unreasonable to ask (POLITELY), but unreasonable to expect permission to go first.

  • ?
    Lv 4
    1 month ago

    If he already placed his food in there then just wait a few minutes. If not then you could ask nicely 

  • Craig
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    This is a subtle point.  Ideally, if you were waiting with a full cart in the cashier line at the grocery store and you notice a person behind you with two items in her hand and a fussy toddler clinging to her, it is polite and thoughtful to ask her to precede you.  It would not be beyond the bounds of etiquette for her to graciously ask you if she might do so, if you hadn't noticed her.

    But if you'd already started to unload your cart onto the cashier's belt, and she then began to point out her need and the logic of allowing her to check-out first, that would be impolite, even if done graciously.  She waited too long and now she is impeding the normal flow of the grocery store simply to make her own lot easier.  That's improper.

    This would seem, according to what you've told us, to correspond to your situation at the microwave.  It would indeed have resulted in much more convenience for you, at little cost in terms of convenience to him - a reasonable, logical conclusion - if you'd gone first.  But etiquette-wise, there comes a moment after which it's improper to suggest even a well-reasoned argument.  He had already gotten his plate into the microwave.  IMO, (since etiquette is all about our effect upon the mindset of those around us, and their effects upon OUR mindset) at that point his mindset has progressed to the stage where he feels he is IN THE PROCESS of operating the microwave.  Any suggestion to alter the sequence at that point will be perceived as an interruption, and a claim of superior rights.  That would seem unjustified regardless of the logic behind it, and so we would consider that against the rules of etiquette.  Sorry.

    If only you'd graciously made your observations to him a half a minute earlier, he probably would have just nodded.

  • 1 month ago

    No.  You are not entitled.  Wait your turn.  He got there first.  it's not going to hurt you to wait five minutes.  

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Depends on who this guy is and what your relationship to him is.

    If it's your spouse or someone in your immediate family, it's fine.

    If it's your roommate, coworker or other guest at a hotel breakfast bar, zip it and wait your turn.

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