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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 month ago

Why now I try hard to please by wife she cold shoulders me?

6 months ago I pretty much was ignoring my wife and she told me she wanted a divorce claiming I wasn't a real father to our son, and she felt lonely in the marriage, yet she would be nice to me, cook meals etc. Since then I have really bonded with our son, and spent a lot of quality time with my wife, yet now she is cold to me and is even more determined for the divorce, but comes up with phony reasons why she wants a divorce now. Is this just the normal cooling off of someone determined for a divorce or do you think there was another reason she isn't telling me about?

8 Answers

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  • Archer
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Tell her OK but also tell her you want custody of "your" child.

  • 1 month ago

    "....do you think there was another reason she isn't telling me about?" Do you think it could be a case "too little, too late"? That maybe she had been asking for YEARS for you to engage with them, and its only now when seemingly "forced" into do so, that you now are doing what she wanted you to do all along? That the hurt from a those times of begging you to show some affection have hardened her NOT to expect it from you? Maybe she doesn't think it will last, that you will once again get "comfortable" and neglect them again?

    Want to KNOW what's going on in her head? Talk to her. If you two are having difficulties doing that, perhaps some time spent with a Relationship Counselor will be of benefit.

  • ?
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    she might have something up her sleeve man, be careful. 

  • kristy
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    She’s screwing someone else behind your back. Get rid of her

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Sometimes when you let the flames of love die they can't be reignited. Just because you started being a father again doesn't mean you did anything to try to win your wife's romantic affections back. Marriage with kids operates on two levels; coparents, lovers. You've proved yourself to be a competent coparent. Now get a sitter and take her on a vacation or out to a nice restaurant or something to show her that you're ready to be the full package. 

  • 1 month ago

    She has found someone else. Look to see who she is talking with. 

  • ?
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Without knowing a lot more details about how she spends her time I would be purely guessing, however it's always about more than just the simple excuse of you not spending enough time.    What's most likely happened is that she's just spend a lot of time thinking about a new life without you and has moved on.  There comes a point in some relationships where too much damage has been done and nothing you can do will change that.  My advice is to stop delaying the inevitable and get a good lawyer before she gets too far ahead of you.  Don't accept the traditional terms of full child support and every other weekend, things are changing, but you need to be willing to fight for it.   Regardless I know you are trying to repair things and if it makes you feel any better you can always get back together after the divorce if something changes, but I feel that at this point she will just try to take advantage of your desire to get back together. 

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    What is your native language, please? What country do you and your wife come from?

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