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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 month ago

My husband called me...?

My husband and I have been married for almost two years now. We have a pretty solid and loving relationship. We are both in our late twenties, He called me and told me that he found a man cave. He said it isn’t that far from the house and asked if I wanted to see. So, he drove me to a public storage place and showed me the unit he had purchased. Inside of the unit was a desk and a chair and random shoes and chairs. He said he’d just purchased the unit recently. He told me that he’s wanting to start selling things as a side hustle and work on his car since our one bedroom apartment isn’t that big. We have closet space and a storage closet at home. All of his stuff is in the storage closet since I have no need for it. I was really surprised to see how he had a desk, chairs and a workstation already set up. I told him I didn’t understand this need since he has a home. Also, he told me that he wouldn’t be away from home for that long when he’s at the storage unit. He asked if I think he’s hiding stuff. My husband is hurt from my disagreement with it. What to do? I just know my husband would never be okay if I did the same thing. 

12 Answers

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  • 1 month ago

    He's renting, not "Purchasing", right? He rented a space and took you to it and now you know that he needs more room than your little apartment. How much is the storage unit per month? If that expense was added to your monthly rental expense, could you get a larger place?  Well, what I see is that your husband does not feel he has a space for himself at home. That's a thing to notice and care about.. not a thing to get furious and hurt over.  His things are stored in the closet because you have no need of them? Do you run your entire home that way? Maybe, just maybe, this is an opportunity for you to think about changes the two of you can make together in your living space because, for him, the current arrangement isn't working! So he's sought a solution that isn't about you but it' is not a secret from you. In your shoes, I'd likely start pinching pennies and building up a nest egg to look for a larger space with a garage and room for husband. Lots of people have storage spaces. Not something to freak out over unless the expense is uncomfortable. Lots of people have storage spaces for a few months. That might be all this is too. Your husband needs more space. That's not a crime. 

  • 1 month ago

    he just wants time alone and to work on his hobbies, no big deal girl. 

  • i + i
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    "Purchased" a storage unit? 

    Where is this mythical place 

    where they can be sold? 

  • ?
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Surely you can avail yourself of a measuring tape to see if your apartment truly isn't big enough for him to conduct his hobbies out of there. But even if it is, people need time away from their partners. It's abnormal and usually unhealthy to be on top of each other 24/7. Unless you think this is a prelude to him cheating or your household truly can't support the cost of this storage unit you should probably just relax. Besides, he didn't "purchase" it, he's just renting it and can stop renting it at any time he wants. If you think he'd flip out if you did something similar then you've got bigger problems than him wanting a man cave. 

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    I fail to see how hanging out in a storage locker is a “man cave.” I’m guessing there’s electricity inside. But there’s something that just seems either crazy or desperate about hanging out in there. It seems like he should have talked to you before he rented a storage locker, since there’s obviously a monthly bill for it. I don’t know if he’s just an impulsive guy with dumb ideas, or if you’re treating him in a way that pushed him to spend his spare time in a storage unit instead of his home. The fact that he wouldn’t like it if you did the same thing is definitely suspicious. Maybe he is trying to hide something (and sucks at it). It seems like he would have kept it a secret if he was doing something wrong, but maybe he’s just not that smart. You should also find out what stuff he plans on selling as his side hustle. You have a right to know if he’s spending money on a bunch of crap that might not sell, or buying a bunch of expensive crap to put in there. I can’t put my finger on it, but something about this just doesn’t sit right with me. 

  • 1 month ago

    Visit him at the man cave and get dirty on the desk. Life is full of opportunities.

  • 1 month ago

    Do you really have space at your one bedroom apartment? 

    You sound very controlling and dumped a bucket of ice on your husband’s hopes for a better life for the two of you. Damn, heartless

  • 1 month ago

    Tell him that you have been thinking of finding somewhere like this yourself, perhaps. Marriage is an equal partnership, and such decisions (and I assume that his cave isn't free) are best made together. Might the money spent on buying it not have been better spent on getting a place with two bedrooms? That way at least he'll be home more. Obviously know what you have written here. 

  • 1 month ago

    So rent the unit next to his, and every time he goes to his unit, go to yours.  Play Celine Dion and Michael Crawford music at full volume the whole time he is there.  After two or three times he will abandon the cave.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    If we are to take this as a real question then you answered your own question.  

    When you stated that all of HIS stuff is in the storage closet since I(meaning you) have no need for it.   That basically says you pushed him to getting this unit and now you are upset 

    Nothing he is doing sounds out of the ordinary since you have a small apartment, but you sound like a very controlling wife.

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